This Is What an Alpha Male Is (and What It’s Not)

What does it really mean to be an alpha male? For years, culture and social media have twisted the definition — turning it into a picture of muscles, money flashing, loud talk, and control. But that’s not leadership, and it’s definitely not true masculinity.

In this episode of Elevate With Sage, I break down the truth about what an alpha male actually is — and what it’s not. We’ll talk about the myths that keep men confused, the core traits of true leadership, and why respect and presence speak louder than ego and noise.

Men, this is your blueprint to becoming a leader who leads himself first — with discipline, emotional intelligence, integrity, and consistency. Women, you’ll learn how to recognize the difference between a man who drains your energy and one who makes you feel safe, supported, and seen.

This conversation is about more than labels — it’s about redefining masculinity in a way that elevates families, relationships, and communities.

If you’ve got a topic you want me to cover on the podcast, hit me up at ElevateWithSage1@gmail.com
— I’d love to hear from you.

Transcript

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When you hear the words alpha male, what really comes to mind? Some people, they might picture a big dude with muscles acting like he can whoop anybody in the room. Or maybe think of that cat that's flashing a wild money in everybody's face. Or the one who always got a story about how he dominated somebody in the past. But real talk, a true alpha male doesn't need to scream, doesn't need to control, and definitely don't need to prove himself to anybody. His presence alone speaks louder than his mouth ever could. Respect is earned, it's not forced. See, being an alpha male ain't about being the loudest or the flashiest. It's about mastering yourself first, your discipline, your emotions, your character. It's about being the man your family can lean on, the man that your woman feels safe with. And the community, they can trust you. That's the real alpha. And today, let's just break it all the way down. Just what it means for men and what it looks like to the women that's watching. So let's get into it. You and now tuned in to elevate with Stage. I am your host, Stage. You could have been anywhere else in the world right now, but you chose to be here with me. And here, we're in a holistic will. We're elevating mind, we're elevating body, we're elevating spirit from the inside out. So buckle up, breathe deep. This ain't just a podcast, it's a mind chip. Let's elevate. Yo, welcome back. This is Sage. And first of all, before we do anything else, I just want to take this moment to say thank you. Thank you for being here today. Thank you for listening wherever you are. Man, listen, I appreciate it, and and I can't thank y'all enough. Like the little feedback I do get, it means so much to me. And man, y'all just don't know. It just keeps me wanting to go on and on and on. It's been a little pause in the show for a little bit, man. We had some personal issues that we just been dealing with, and it's okay, man. Like everything is starting to work out. And I don't know if y'all listened to previous episodes, but I did kind of get into some details that me and my family was uh experiencing. And so uh hopefully, man, we everything is is lining up and we back on, you know, on just our regular routines in life, and hopefully we can just keep it going and thank everybody for encouraging words and support. And I just want to let y'all know it means a lot. So today we just gonna dive on in. Let's lock in. Because this one right here, man, this is important. There's a lot of noise, a lot of noise out there about what an alpha male is supposed to look like, what he's supposed to act like, what he's supposed to sound like. But most of that, man, it's it's really like straight up just a myth. So I want to break this down in sections for you. Men and women. So by the time we're done, I mean, you'll know the difference between the fake flicks and the real presence of a true alpha male. A true alpha male isn't about chest beating, dominance, or being loud. By definition, alpha comes from biology and animal behavior. The alpha, the one who naturally takes the lead in the group, not just through brute force, but through respect, competence, and presence. When we translate that to human beings, it's about influence, responsibility, and embodiment of value. So core traits of a true alpha male. One, leadership through respect, not fear. An alpha male, he inspires people to follow him on their own. Not because they're scared or manipulated, but because they trust his judgment and his character. Number two, emotional intelligence. He can regulate his emotions. An alpha male, he can read a room and he can connect deeply. He doesn't lose his cool easily. He holds steady when others are shaken. Three, protector and provider energy. Not just financially, but spiritually, emotionally, mentally. He makes those around him feel safe, supported, and elevated. Three, self-mastery. He disciplines himself, body, mind, and habits. He doesn't let impulse or insecurity run the show. Number five, an alpha male is authentic. He's unapologetically himself. Doesn't need to fake the tough guy energy. Doesn't fold on the pressure outside or outside validation. Number six, service driven. A true alpha male, he uplifts others. Family, community, tribe. He understands that his strengths mean it means little if he doesn't benefit the people he leads. So, what isn't an alpha male? So, alpha male is not about dominating women or being the loudest man in the room. It's not about money, cars, status, or symbols alone. It's not about toxic control or ego trips. At the end of the day, man, like a true alpha male, he's the distinguished gentleman and the warrior, blended into one, a man who commands respect because of who he is, not because of what he forces. So I can put it simply, man, like I would just say a true alpha male is the man who leads himself first. And by doing so, he earns the right to lead others. I kind of want to take this moment to talk about some misconceptions. So modern masculinity versus misconceptions. So the first one, like the strength, I just really want to dive into that one. Like the strength, it's not just physical, it's holistic, right? So the twisted view, alpha means the guy with the biggest muscles, loudest voice, or the most aggression, like we've already talked about. But in truth, I mean, real strength is multidimensional. Like physical fitness matters, but so does emotional stability. Uh, so does mental clarity, and especially like spiritual alignment. A man who can keep calm in the chaos, that that man is stronger than a man that can bench 400 pounds but crumbles under pressure. So it's a big difference. Number two, emotional intelligence, man, and I can't say that enough. That's powerful. It's emotional intelligence, it's power. So the twisted view is it gives you this misconception that men should be like stoic robots, no feelings, period. And if you think about it, it's kind of how most men in this country, or maybe in many countries all around the world, that's how they're kind of taught. That's that's what how they're brought up. But the truth is, man, the true alpha male is not, he isn't void of feelings. Like he's the master of his feelings. He can feel, he can express, and he can still lead with clarity. That's why women and other men respect him. He don't lash out, he just channels his energy with control. So, three, collaboration over domination. So the twisted view, alpha men stepping on others to prove dominance. Well, a real alpha man, an alpha male, I'm sorry, in real life, the true alpha doesn't need to flex constantly. He collaborates, he builds teams, he empowers. People follow because they want to, not because they're forced. And four, providing isn't just financial. So the twisted view, if you got money, you're an alpha, period. Well, false. The truth is providing it goes deeper than just money. Yeah, financial stability, it it does matter, but a true alpha also provides safety, guidance, wisdom, love, and structure. So money without integrity, it just makes you a rich fool. So five, being authentic is the real flex. So let's look at the twist of you. A lot of fe a lot of people feel like alpha means doing what other people do. Like watching some some social media video and finding this flashy, arrogant, materialistic dude and thinking that's alpha energy. But the truth is, like a true alpha male, he doesn't have to perform. He is. He just is that man. He's aligned with his values. He's unapologetically himself. He doesn't chase validation. That grounded energy, that's that's what commands respect. Think about it. Um let me put it in a in a context that can be understood easily. So a real alpha in today's world is like a warrior monk.

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Think about it.

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So a warrior, he's capable of fighting, building, protecting, and providing. A monk is grounded, wise, emotionally intelligent, spiritually aware. So the balance is what makes him magnetic. Too much warrior without monk, then you get toxic masculinity. Too much monk without warrior, then you get passive, nice guy energy. So, bottom line, like the true alpha male in 2025 isn't about fear or being flashy. It's about leading with love, discipline, and unshakable presence. But let me give you a true alpha male blueprint, right? I'm gonna give you a couple things. And if you if you kind of lock in and you already doing some of this stuff, good, good. And if you're doing all of it, even better. But let's talk about some ways that you can embody that masculine alpha, true alpha male energy, right? So, number one, master yourself first. Like that morning routine. Wake up early, wake up before distraction, stretch, pray or meditate, and then journal. So basically, what this will do, it'll ground your energy before, like anybody else in the world, just have a chance to pull on it. Physical fitness. I recommend training your body four to five days a week, not just for looks, but for discipline, stamina, and presence. A man with a strong body, he carries himself so much differently. Nutrition. Like eat like a king that's fueling his kingdom. Like high protein, clean carbs, hydration. Think about it, discipline and food that equals discipline in life. Number two, it's really important. Control your mind and emotions. Mindset mindset reps, and I wrote this down, like affirmations, visualizations, or mantra work. Like example, I respond, I don't react. I respond, I don't react. I respond, I don't react. Like just, it's so many things you can say, so many reps you can just have, like list it. Just embody that. Um, emotional intelligence practice. So when you get triggered, before you lose your cool, just pause. Just pause before you react. You just take a deep breath and then ask yourself, what outcome do I want? Do I want to be smooth and in control of my emotions and have emotional intelligence in this moment? Or do I just want to lose my cool and run off at the mouth and say something that's gonna end up hurting the situation way more than it should? Right? Okay, reading and growth. Man, 20 to 30 minutes a day of something that sharpens your mind is it's a huge flex. Whether it's about stoism, spirituality, psychology, leadership books, anything, if you invest 20 to 30 minutes a day into reading something, it'll just grow you even more. It'll just make you stronger, smarter, and give you more precision, give you more tools to handle situations that could potentially break you or knock you out of character. And number three, build unshakable presence. Like your posture and your body language, it says so much about you. So stand tall, like walk with your shoulders back. Make sure you give direct eye contact. Like your presence always speaks before you do. And even when it comes to speech, sometimes you just gotta slow down. Speak with intent. Don't rush to feel the silence. Real power is being comfortable with pauses. Energy. Guard your space. Please don't waste energy on gossip, drama, or environments that might pull you down. And I know that sometimes we we do just live in toxic situations. But the moment that you become aware of that, just start making plans to shift, to shift your energy, to shift, shift your physical being, just to get out of that mess, get out of that circle of of bad energy. Number four, provide and protect finances. Like have a budget, have a plan, and have some streams of income. Providing it's it's not just about being the richest, it's about being reliable. Safety. Like your family, they should feel safe with you emotionally, spiritually, and physically. That means being consistent and not unpredictable. Boundaries. Say no when you need to say no. Protect your time and energy like it's gold. Number five, really important. Lead by example. So with your family, man, show up. Just show up, be present with your wife, be present with your kids, not just physically, but emotionally. Like listen. Like, really, really listen, read the room, guide them, nurture them. So lead by example in your community, give back, like mentor, support, share your wisdom. So let me let me tell you something. Real alpha energy, it creates other leaders, not followers. Like I would rather be surrounded by a group of leaders than be followed by a group of blind followers. I want to create leaders, right? So lead by example even with yourself. Keep promises you make to yourself. Integrity is the foundation of respect. So if you promise yourself I'm gonna lose 10 pounds in the next two months, man, keep that promise. Like do whatever it takes. For you not to break your own word against yourself. It's so important. Or if you say, tomorrow I'm gonna do that task that I've been avoiding doing for weeks, and you promise yourself that you're gonna do it tomorrow, no matter what happens, no matter what gets in your way, bro. Get up and do it. Number six, balance that warrior and that monk. That warrior side, like train and take risks, push your limits, protect what's yours by any means. And on the monk's side, reflect, meditate, stay aligned spiritually, and move with wisdom. So practice switching gears, know when to fight, and know when to let peace carry the day. Alright, so if we did a daily blueprint snapshot, so just listen, morning, like prayer, meditation, workout, journal, midday, focus work, build wealth, sharpen your skills. Maybe in the evening, connect with your family, reflect, read, express gratitude weekly, you know, one day for a community or mentorship, maybe one day for deep rest and vision planning. Bottom line, man, the true alpha male earns respect without asking for it through discipline, through presence, and through service. He becomes the man everybody trusts to hold steady in the storm and lead in peace. I do feel like it's equally important to talk to the women. So I do want to talk to the ladies for the second because y'all really play a big role in this too. A lot of times, women get caught up chasing what looks alpha on the outside, but really it's just ego and dressed up in muscles, money. So I want to show you how you can just spot the difference. And let's just talk about it. Presence versus performance. Like fake alpha, you know, he's performing. He's loud, flashy, always trying to prove something. A true alpha, he has presence. He's calm, grounded. He ain't trying to prove nothing to you. So if he's always performing for attention, he's not leading, he's auditioning. So safety versus control. A fake alpha, he makes you feel controlled or boxed in. A true alpha, he makes you feel secure, protected, and free to be yourself. So if his energy makes you anxious instead of at peace, that's not alpha. That's chaos. Alright? So consistency versus chaos, all right. A fake alpha, he's inconsistent. Up today, down tomorrow, can't be trusted. A true alpha, he is, he's reliable. You know where he stands. A man who's unpredictable with his moods and money can't lead a household, period. Lifting versus draining. Fake alpha, he drains you with drama, selfishness, and arrogance. A true alpha, he he lifts you up, he inspires you, he supports you, he adds value to your life. So if he's pulling from you more than he's pouring into you, that's not alpha energy. That's leech energy. So ladies, the point is don't confuse noise with leadership. A true alpha male moves different. His strength is in his consistency, his integrity, and the way you feel safe in his presence. If you want a real man, don't chase the image. Pay attention to the energy. But I also want to drop some uh scenarios. So if you picture this, you go on a date with a dude, he's loud at the restaurant, showing off, trying to impress the waiter, talking about how much money he makes. But the whole time he ain't even looking you in your eyes. That's performance. Now imagine another man. He don't brag. He asks questions, he listens, he walks with confidence, shoulders back, head high. He doesn't need to prove a thing. You just feel it in the way he carries himself. That's presence. That's alpha. So you ever been with a man who tries to control who you talk to, what you wear, where you go? That's not protection. That's fear and insecurity. But a true alpha, he makes you feel safe, so secure that you naturally want to respect the relationship. You don't feel boxed in. You feel covered. That's the difference. You ever meet a dude who's up one day and down the next one week. He's showering you with love the next week. He's ghosting or blowing up your phone with drama, a roller coaster. That's not alpha. That's that's instability, man. So a true alpha is consistent. You can count on his word. You know his character. Even when life shakes, he's steady. That's what gives women peace. Some men just drain you. Every conversation is about them, their problems, their ego. You leave that conversation feeling empty. But a true alpha, you leave his presence feeling lifted, inspired, like you're better because you were with him. That's the energy difference. One takes, the other one gives. So I feel like you shouldn't, you know, don't don't fall for the loud show. Look for the man whose presence makes you feel safe, seen, secure. That's alpha energy. And fellas, if that description don't fit you, it's time to step up your game. But right now, I just want to shift it back over to the men and just kind of let you know, man, that you can't really lead anybody until you lead yourself. If you can't control your temper, your habits, or your money, you're not an alpha, you're a liability. Being a man is more than providing money, it's providing stability. Anybody can throw dollars around, but can your woman count on your word? Can your kids count on your presence? Alpha is not about fear. It's about trust. If people only follow you because they're scared of you, you failed. Real leadership is people following you, following you because they trust you, they respect you. If you're loud everywhere else, but silent when it's time to step up, you're not an alpha. Alpha shows up in action, not talk. A true alpha, he leaves people better, not broken. If your leadership drains other people, breaks women down, or leaves kids confused, you're not leading. You're abusing power. So fellas, check yourself. Are you the man you want your son to become? Are you the man you trust your daughter to marry? If not, it's time to elevate. Alpha is not about what you show the world. It's about what the world sees when you don't even say a word. That's presence, that's respect. That's the true alpha. Let me just give you one thing to think about. An alpha isn't who you pretend to be. It's who you are when nobody's watching. And I just want to say that one more time. Alpha isn't who you pretend to be. It's who you are when nobody's watching. Once again, I want to just give you a big thank you. Thank you for listening. If you made it this far in this episode, I really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. I want to just take a second to celebrate you right now. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Listen, man, if you ever need to reach me, always, always you can hit me up, elevate with sage the number one at gmail.com. Uh you can send a message if you're on the Buzz Sprout uh platform. It always feels good to hear from you. So anytime, anytime, I'm I'm looking forward to to just more episodes and learning and growing and hopefully uh being able to inspire you to do better. And if something in this episode touched you or you heard something in here that could help somebody else, man, please do me a favor, share it. Just sharing it to one person could really change that person's perspective on life or certain situations. So, man, till next time, thank y'all so much. This is Sage, and I'm out. Hey, if this hit you, Jared. Send it to somebody going through the fire, but still choosing peace. New episodes dropping weekly, and every time we're going a little deeper, this thing just transformation. I'm Sage, and this is Elevator Sage. Until next time, I wish you another peace. That's another thing.